The quest for the Epic Awesome Spoon [RP]

Yeah, I started it now.
Post your intros and I post mine.
Rule 1: There is NO rules!
Rule 2: Prepare to be insulted by us!!! (That includes Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Hinduisms, Gilbert Gottfried, Charlie Sheen, Micheal Jackson, Britney Spear, Lady Gaga, George Bush, Bill Clinton, Mexicans, Danish, Canadians, Americans, Japanese, Russians, Germans, Star trek fans, Star wars fans, Scrubs fans, Highlander fans, Nerds, Bullies, Teachers, Shoe sales mens, Swedish, Norwegians, Indians, Eskimos, Paul Anka, Tom Cruise, Bananas, Apples, Pineapples, Berries, Vampires, Werewolves, Serbians, Terminator fans, American Pie fans, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Egypt's, Zombies, Ghosts, Ghost-buster's, Mafias, Gangsters, Mr T, Vanilla Ice, Flava Flav, Midgets, Tall people, Christina Applegate, Pizzas, Cakes, Nazis, Communists, Terrorists, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Prisons, Hospitals, Meatballs, Hot dogs, Hamburgers, Dragon Quest games, Metal Gear Solid games, Devil May Cry games, Manga, Anime, Pop music, Dance band music, Love songs, Dentists, Police men, Fire men, Medics, Simpsons fans, Dynasty Warriors games, Final Fantasy games and many more...)
Rule 3: DO NOT INSULT: Chuck Norris, Pie, Rock music, Metal music, Santa, Family Guy fans, Smiles fans( ) and that's it)